10 Career & Life Rules I Wish Someone Had Taught Me at 20
Two Decades of Work Wisdom Distilled From Real Experience
When you’re 20, you think working hard is enough. Heck, some founders I meet are twice that age and they still think this. They are burned out and unhappy, btw….
This is the ‘old school’ way of working:
Show up early.
Stay late.
Say yes.
Be grateful.
That’s what you’re told.
But it’s a lie and it certaintly isn’t what builds a successful career.
I learned this slowly, painfully, as a young woman starting out—through burnout, missed opportunities, being underpaid, being misunderstood, and occasionally being blamed for things I never agreed to.
I believed bosses’ promises that didn’t materialize.
I overgave both my time and energy to systems that didn’t protect me.
I had to learn the hard way how organizations (and the people operating in them) really work.
If I could go back, these are the rules I would teach my younger self.
Not to make life easier.
To make smarter decisions earlier.
Even if you aren’t 20 anymore, as long as you are working, you may find these lessons valuable. I hope you do, dear reader, because my deepest wish is to see more people loving their careers and thriving at work.
Disclaimer: I left corporate for good young but in my business, I have spent countless hours inside companies helping them with their marketing and GTM endeavors. My business has enabled me not to see just a few like most corporate careers but hundreds. And I’ve found sadly that most of these issues happen everywhere. So let’s fix them!
1. Protect Your Ownership (Silence Is Agreement)
If you don’t speak up, people assume you agree.
And that you’ve taken ownership.
When a leader tells a marketer,
“We should think about launching an influencer program,”
and you stay quiet…
It becomes yours.
Not officially.
Politically.
Always clarify:
Is this real or just an idea?
Is there a budget?
Who owns it?
What does success look like?
No clarity today = blame tomorrow.
2. Protect Your Capacity (Scope Creep Will Break You)
Companies don’t burn people out overnight.
They do it slowly.
You start with four responsibilities.
Six months later, you have twenty-five.
Same salary.
Higher pressure.
Every new task requires:
Time
Tools
Training
Budget
So ask:
“What should I stop doing to make room for this?”
If nothing gets removed, you’re being overloaded.
And you will pay the price.
First, you’re tired.
Then stretched.
Then dropping balls.
You make a mistake.
And no one says,
“We gave her too much.”
They say,
“She couldn’t handle the role.”
That’s how good people get blamed for bad systems.
3. Protect Your Reputation (Never Accept Vague Expectations)
Most managers don’t define success clearly.
They keep it in their head.
Then judge you against it later.
“Run with it.”
“Do your best.”
“Make it great.”
Sounds supportive.
It isn’t.
It’s a setup.
When expectations are vague, everything becomes subjective.
You work in good faith.
Then hear:
“That’s not what I meant.”
Now you’re defending yourself.
Not because you failed.
Because the target never existed.
For every assignment, know:
Deadline
Budget
Priority
Output
Success metric
Otherwise, you’re volunteering to be judged after the fact.
4. Protect Your Energy (Working Hard Is Not a Strategy)
Working hard makes you useful.
Working smart makes you valuable.
Hard workers get more work.
Strategic workers get leverage.
If you only optimize for effort:
You become indispensable to execution.
And invisible to advancement.
You fix problems.
Save projects.
But don’t shape direction.
Working smart means building:
Visible skills
Strategic positioning
Personal IP
External leverage
Your employer rents your time.
You’re building assets.
5. Protect Your Leverage (Build a Portfolio, Not a Resume)
Nobody cares how long you sat in a role.
They care what you built.
“I worked there for two years” is weak.
“I built X from zero to Y” is power.
Track:
Outcomes
Systems
Growth
Impact
Otherwise, you start from zero every time you change jobs.
6. Protect Your Optionality (Stay Close to the Money)
Talent doesn’t protect you in bad markets.
Positioning does.
Small companies collapse first.
Weak startups implode fast.
Good people go down with bad businesses.
Pay attention to:
Funding
Industry cycles
Market health
Economic signals
Options = freedom.
No options = dependency.
7. Protect Your Independence (Control Your Money Early)
Money is career oxygen.
Without it, you panic.
You tolerate bad jobs.
You accept bad terms.
Split your income:
Taxes
Living
Savings (6+ months)
Financial runway = power.
Without it, every employer owns you.
8. Protect Your Influence (Deal Confidently With Powerful People)
I was introverted.
A people-pleaser.
Intimidated by authority.
I stayed quiet.
Waited to be invited.
Hoped competence would speak.
It doesn’t.
Power notices presence.
Learn to:
Ask direct questions
Build relationships
Reach out
Follow up
Stay visible
Advocate clearly for what you want.
With proof.
Confidence without evidence is noise.
Evidence without confidence is invisible.
Bring both.
Never beg.
Never ramble.
Never waste someone’s time.
Know your pitch.
Negotiate calmly.
9. Protect Your Heart (Business Is Not Family)
“You’re special here.”
“We’re a family.”
“You’re next in line.”
“This is huge.”
You believe it.
So you give more.
Then things change.
Budgets.
Leadership.
Strategy.
And you’re gone.
Not because you failed.
Because it was business.
Protect your heart by remembering:
Promises aren’t contracts
Praise isn’t security
Loyalty isn’t reciprocal
Be committed.
But keep emotional distance.
Your identity is bigger than any job.
10. Protect Your Mind (Never Stop Learning)
When school ends, learning becomes optional.
That’s when most people stagnate.
Work fills your days.
Fatigue fills your nights.
So you scroll.
Stream.
Zone out.
Protect your mind.
Keep learning:
New skills
New ideas
New frameworks
New perspectives
Read real books.
Attend conferences.
Find mentors.
Solve hard problems.
No one grades you anymore.
You’re responsible for your education.
For life.
Curiosity is a survival skill.
The Truth No One Tells You
No one will protect:
Your time
Your boundaries
Your pay
Your growth
Except you.
If you don’t advocate for yourself, someone else will decide for you.
Usually in their favor.
If you’re young and reading this: start now.
If you’re older and recognizing yourself: it’s not too late.
But don’t waste another year learning this the hard way.
If this helped you, share it with someone early in their career.
And if you want more like this, subscribe.
Every employer has to evaluate whether the leverage you provide them enables them to manufacture their product or produce their service at a cost less than the price at which they can sell it. If the answer is no, your job has no reason to exist.